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i owe y'all an explanation as to why i'm no longer on dA.

this account has made some positive influences in my life--but its made equally as many negatives ones, too.

i need a fresh start. /completely/ fresh start.
i remember when i used to make art cos it was fun and cool and yaddayadda. nowadays, i make art to, well, make art. the end. that's a really big problem cos the minute i find art a hassle, that means something has to change.

will i disclose my current whereabouts?
no. i'm keeping a low profile this time around. i need to express myself the way i want to, and not the way people expect me to.

who knows, i might just crash and tell you guys at a later date, but for now, i need to just reorganize myself
relax...
and try to have fun again...

unrelated note: i'm turning 17 on the 28th! woooooooo~!

to my friends: y'all know how to keep in touch <3

bye guys!
haven't been too invested on what's happening on dA so i haven't been checking my messages or anything. just been faving shit. there's really no point in me having a dA as of right now so idk

also, i'm doing a mass storage of every piece in my gallery since i can't bother looking at any of it. yup, even the once-ler stuff. if you're concerned about that, you should go to my tumblr. they'll still be there.

so yup.

gotta work on some stuff. i owe a lot of people a lot of different things. also the avengers beckon me to them

bye
can you stop being boring

PLEASE

PLEASE?

like no one uploads stuff anymore and no one is ever online.

well it's not like i've been on here to check it out.

maybe i should just use dA as strictly an art...deployment...place...

or maybe not since all i'm drawing nowadays is absolute crap that no one wants to see

oh well almost the end of school

gonna be a senior

college hunting

yup

so dA whenever you wish to become interesting or whatever, feel free to drop me a line.

oh an i apologize to the fantastic artists that watch me

i'm not quality and i'm sorry for that

: (

//ollies outie into who know the frick where
yeah uhm

i guess by taking a look at my gallery recently

and seeing me on tumblr and whatnot

this account probably won't have any sonic fanart on it for a while. a LONG while.

i wanted to bring this up since my interests are changing dramatically, all starting with the lorax and the legend of korra and NOW the avengers.

i'm not saying that i'm stopping sonic fanart completely. there's just a really low chance that it's gonna come back any time soon.

so there.

so except for one kirban prize, that's it.

just a little shout out to all y'all that are waiting. i'm sorry. :(

hope some of you guys can enjoy the other things you might see on here!
catch it and uhm

yay sparkles :Y

idk drawing a pic seems kinda boring

maybe i should like record myself singing a song or something

welp

choice is yours, whoever catches it. tata for now~
once-lerminaj.tumblr.com

omfg the name will be changed back to micrococoabursts soon

yeah..........

as soon as i say i'm on one site more than the other, murphy's law will kick my ass and switch it around

so there it is.

once-ler art is over there

and some other shit.

:}
my mom was right. it was pretty foolish of me to post something about journalism on an art website.

i just thought i'd share some happiness with you guys.

i'll just keep talk about my future endeavors off of dA.

since this is, in fact, an art website.

sorry for bothering you guys.
they took the stolen art down

WE HAVE CONQUERED THE NIGHT

AND SEIZED THE DAY

I SHALL LIVESTREAM SOME ONCE-LER

AFTER I WASH MY NAPPY HAIR yeah that doesn't rhyme

but srsly ilu guys i want to hug and spread love to all of you individually <33333
hello. i regret to inform you all that we got ourselves a thief

fav.me/d4t6ees

i've already told this person that what they did was wrong. if the pic is not gone by the time i get up or some time in the next few hours, i'm reporting.

original is here btw: micrococoabursts.tumblr.com/po…

so yeah. V____V

this has never happened before so i'm just gonna wait and see what happens

good night
hi

you may follow my blog, micrococoabursts, on tumblr

if you followed it before this once-ler madness and expected consistent updates and subject matter, then i apologize deeply

but you guys

he's just

there are no words to describe him.

he's just the once-ler

perfectionnnnnnnnnn :I
.


good god you get to see my fangirly side :' ( so ashamedddd

but nothing hurts.

ok welp, gotta go see the movie with my mom tomorrow for the second time so.......

; __________________ ;

this has been a useless post. bye bye.
i am just gonna spew out so much crap and y'all are gonna listen to it. i NEED to tell someone all of this and it ain't gonna be my RL friends. so without further ado, here is what i have to say:

it hurts when people talk down about something that i like.

oh BOOHOO, sam, it's life. get over it. people have opinions and that's that. grow up fsdkljflsdjfsdl i KNOW, thank you very much. i am very aware of the first amendment and the freedom of speech and all that pssh. but...it still kinda stings.

let's take the sonic franchise. was gonna use portal, but that's universally liked so that's won't work.

sonic's flopped. the franchise has promised a lot and it's delivered...well, nothing of the sort. it's seen some tough times, but i truly have some high hopes for him and what he has in store.

kinda sucks when people don't see it the way you do.

let me explain. i see sonic as an awesome friend that i look up to and know will always bet there for me. i've known about him ever since i was like 4 when i first played sonic adventure. good times were had.

i mean, sonic's had such a positive influence on my life as a whole, and i feel as though i'm slowly starting to crawl out of my portal craze to go back to it. it's weird!

but i digress...

when people talk down about things i enjoy, especially sonic, it's like a sharpened pencil shoots right through my heart. it feels as though some people are just bringing down a close friend that's made some past mistakes but is trying to better themselves. aaaaaah i mean, can we just move on? i mean, it's like the person talking trash about it is bringing down anyone else that likes it, too.

moangroanaaaaaah

now i feel crappy coz everyone's leaving the sonic fandom and i just happen to be scooting back. it was kinda nice to be preoccupied by other things for a while. i felt pretty normal, having all those interests like that.

wait...how in the world did this turn into a sonic related thing??? welp, i guess that's what i was trying to get to the whole time.

so to wrap it up, i'm self-loathing and feeling strange and i just want everyone to be content, ok?

working on a sonic fan project HA lame aaaaaaaaaaaah

can someone please take this computer away from me, it's messing with how i function haha aaaaaah 3 test on a row on wednesday *sob*

OK, enough about me. how are you all today? :V
HI IT'S REALLY LATE and uhm aaaaaah insomnia

since i'm legally high right now, i'll just ramble some things to you guys.

i'm sorry if i do a crap job of trying to get to know you guys. i really appreciate your faves/comments. yea, i even appreciate you weird fellas that just kinda watch me...and do nothing.

so yes, if you wanna talk, hit me up! inbox is always open, whether on tumblr or here. just wanted to let you guys know.

can't livestream anymore. my parents aren't comfortable with me talking with a large audience...PFFFT HAHA by large i mean 5 people since no one comes and i try to make it fun for y'all and pffffffft.

ok, that's it. really nothing else to say. gonna be the last journal for a while. i don't really like using these things unless for like...dire emergencies hahaaaa.
I'M HOME.

THANK YOU JESUS OMFG EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

OH GOD IF I SEE MOUSE EARS OR FUCKING DONALD OR A TURKEY LEG I'M GONNA---

UHM....

yeah, you can probably tell this trip was shit. easily the best/worst trip i've ever been on. it balances together into a weird blend of "where the hell am i?" and "can i please go home?" and "i love these people i don't wanna leave."

OK time to discuss.

disney world does have the possibility of being fun, but i am not a hardcore get-up-and-go person. i need sleep. i need real food and not this diner bullshit. ahaha i've always had a weak stomach, and this trip definitely did not help.

we were out there for 5 straight days. 14 hours in the day. got there at 8 a.m and left at 10 p.m. we'd get back to the hotel at 11 p.m and wouldn't go the bed until fsljflsjlsdkjfsdkljfsldkj 12 p.m cuz me and my roommates had to shower and get ready for the next day.

AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF

i got effin sick on the 4th day. my stomach was on fire and i had to go to first aid while we were in universal studios. aaahaha it was SO awkward to be on a cot next to my crazy band director. i should've just stayed at the hotel that day, but we had to check out. lolol why me.

but now i'm home and now there's an easily accessible bathroom so i'm crying tears of joy :'DDDD

but were there any good parts to the trip? yussss of course. i'd love to let you guys know some of them, but they venture off into the TMI category. maybe one day you'll find out xD but i'll go into details about something else...

i love my friends. the people i roomed with/hung out with are out of this world. when i was sick, they made sure i was ok. they were there when i got off an intense ride and i needed someone to lean on. they got annoying after a while, but that's what happens when you room and hang out together for too long without any food and sleep. maddie/remy/katherine AHAHAH the conversations we had. i love you guys forever <333

OK THAT'S IT. I AM SO TIRED and i need more sleep so goodbye :V
valentine?

what valentine?

:/

i know where i'll be tomorrow *scroll scroll*
if you aren't affiliated/into sonic at all, please do skip this journal. :}

ANYWAY.

SONIC BOOM 2012, MY PEOPLE. a convention held by sega of america. they'll be hosting it during the week of comic con in san diego. it will be off the hook. some information can be found here : www.joystiq.com/2012/02/04/pre…

BUT WAIT.

COCOA, ARE YOU ATTENDING THIS CONVENTION?

oh my god, you have no idea :} i'll probably be escorted out of the con, i'll be so insane

i will so be there. i'm gonna get the chance to meet so many awesome people and spend time with some close friends i have on here ; A ;

right now, we got :iconsapphii: :iconrontufox: and maaaaaaaaybe :iconmylafox:. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE. we haaaave :iconred-ysetgo: :iconlefthandedheather: and :icondansyron: so far!

i'd love to know if any of you are attending! THE FUN WE WOULD HAVE....omfg i am a straight-up loser pfffbbtttt. i know it's in like 5 months, but good LORD, i'm already anticipating it!!!
  • Mood: Nervous
helloooo

still on a semi-break. no real need to be on here right now >< no boyfriend anymore plus HAHA ALL THE PROBLEMS = srs teenage shit.

yeah. those of you waiting to be 16...OH MY GOD good luck. those of you that actually enjoyed being 16...what the actual fuck. teach me your ways.

anyway

therapy has started. we haven't really covered the nitty gritty parts that are making me lose my mind, but we're getting there. i also need to switch therapists since i go beyond certain requirements. whoooaaa. i guess i really am that effed up ffffff

animation is very therapeutic. i've made a few seconds worth of something. i won't be showing you guys anything for a while, though

which reminds me about the point of this journal.

yeah, i'm not uploading as much as i used to anymore. maybe a few pieces here and there. i'm not fast with drawing, so that counts too. if i were to upload every week, the quality of my work would go down, so yup.

i have no idea what else to say.

oh, i guess i don't use emoticons that much anymore.

i don't know what else BYE.
  • Mood: Nervous
wow.

my parents know what's wrong. i finally told them about my constant depression and whatnot, and i'm going into therapy.

but they knew. they already knew what was really wrong.

really really wrong.

i'm envious of other people.

i'm have this secret hatred towards other people.

and because of this, i've neglected any social contact.

i'm not the person people go to to talk to, and it drove me insane.

they "hated" me, so i'll hate them.

what was i thinking...?

i'm not a friend to other people. i expect others to come to me first. my laziness knows now bounds.

laziness. i am lazy.

i already exhibit two of the seven deadly sins. envy and sloth. something is seriously wrong with me.

my parents say this is the devil trying to get to me. we're a christian family, but i've distanced myself so far away from God, that i've allowed so much evil and hate to get to me.

the devil's trying to get to me, and he's won for the last 4 years. but that shit is over. i ain't doing this anymore.

i need to rediscover my faith and be thankful for everything i have. i've lost sight of it, and i'm glad i've brought this to my parents' attention. if i would've kept this bottled inside of me, i don't know where i'd be in the next few weeks, months, years.

i understand some of you don't have a religion or maybe think that there is no "God", but my whole family is a miracle. my dad was supposed to be dead 20 years ago. my mom was supposed to die from cruel mistreatment 21 years ago. i wasn't supposed to be born when my mom was paralyzed. i wasn't supposed to be walking/talking/functioning like a regular human being. they thought i'd be paralyzed too.

i'm telling this to you guys because i need your support. i have become a selfish person that's lost sight of what's really important. i want to be that happy girl that took on the world with everything she had again. i want to look at others and see that "light" in them.

i really do love you guys. you have brought me some of the greatest happiness that i have ever experienced. i know i've been whiny, demanding, and all of that, but i'm not afraid to admit my shortcomings. i want to be my old self again. it needs to happen.

i will see you guys later.
  • Mood: Nervous
hello. this is a place holder journal.

my psn is cocoa-crispies. i'm not even joking. you can add me or whatever you do. i only have like 3 GAMES so don't ask me to play anything yet aaaaah.

in other news...

my parents are crying all the time because i'm "growing up".

help. what do. this is really freakin' me out Dx and then they bust out the pics when i was a fat chunk baby and start bawling again.

i--i don't even know.

:'[

ok, see you guys next weekend. i have 4 quizzes tomorrow and 48392430 TESTS LIKE, SRSLY?

you don't have to comment on this, i just needed another journal up here.
guys that livestream was hilarious

thank you :iconmissyuna: and :iconred-ysetgo: for spreading the word

LOL LIKE FOR REALS

oh god thank you for cheering me up and everything

but now i'm sick lol what is this
no, i have no idea what this journal will be about. i'm just gonna barf out to you people why i'm feeling this way right now. some of you must be wondering why i think so lowly of me. i'm gonna tell ya. i will warn you that this might get a little emotional, and it might get a little retarded. bear with me. this won't be coherent at all.

and no, this is not a desperate cry for attention. i couldn't care less if you commented or anything.

one reason is that i pretty much suffer from an identity crisis. i don't know who i am or where i belong. i'm so different from everyone else around me at the moment, and it's been hurting me for the longest time.

just recently, i attended my junior retreat. we had this note giving activity where we write anonymous notes to other people on the retreat. i got a lot more than i was expecting ( i hardly talk to anyone so...yeah) and had an emotional breakdown when i got home. the notes were so amazingly sweet and uplifting...

i say to myself, "i don't know why these people would write things like this to me. i'm no good. i'm insignificant and dumb and just...me."

they couldn't possibly mean what they said. no one could think that.

well, gee, samantha, i'm sure tha-

no, no. there's more.

this feeling stems from my core friends. i feel as though i'm not wanted by any of them. this might be paranoia, but i can tell when i'm not wanted/ when i shouldn't be with them. i don't feel like i can communicate with them. i always gotta be the fool and be the crazy stupid retard to get their "respect." being me won't be enough. i always gotta be the dumb kid.

i don't even know who i am anymore.

therefore, i can't love myself. i don't know who "myself" is.

my parents have warned me ever since i was little that the friends i have now won't stay with me forever. they won't try to see through you and understand you. they'll stop right at the skin and treat you accordingly.

now that i'm a little older and have seen this take place, i know where they're coming from. i've spent years building up a reputation and an image, and now i understand that it won't benefit me in the future. i have to be the person i'm supposed to be.

but i hate myself. i feel i have too many flaws.

samantha, you're a great perso-

nooo no no. i can't think that. i'm not strong enough to ignore the fact that everyone judges me. i know i'm looked at no matter where i go. people will talk about me. they'll laugh. i know because i've seen it and witnessed it and it hurts to know this. there was a time i wanted to be friends with these people, and now i won't.

i don't belong. there's nowhere for me to go. i hate being ridiculed, i hate being made fun of, and i hate everything. i'm sick and tired of it. i know, i need to go and hang out with others, but i can't do that either. i'll still be ridiculed. i'm a coward who can't push away the fact that everyone will judge me. i don't have the strength to get up and be a better person. i can't.

the moral of this explanation? i'm a weakling. i have no confidence in myself and in the people around me. i have to live according to certain status quo's and follow a trend.  being me is wrong. being me is against everything and anything.

and now i fell hated...betrayed...ignored...

i've gone to so many friends to talk about this, but they say the same thing: samantha, you're fine. stop worrying. EASIER SAID THAN DONE. i can't stop worrying. i constantly look everywhere to see who's talking about me. they're gonna makes jokes about me at lunch, they'll laugh about my mistakes.

i can't take it anymore. at times i wish i was gone and away from everything. i'm obviously a failure and obviously a loser.

it seems like i have strength? ha, no. never had it. always been the baby that can't handle anything.

i'm pathetic.

sorry i don't have  a lot of friends, mom. sorry i don't have the ability to think like you, dad. sorry i can't be who you want me to be, friends. sorry i can't be strong, world.

i just can't.

i hope that cleared some things up. that's why it hurts so much when people tell me i'm a role model. a role model is strong, wise, and can obviously do a lot of other things that i don't do. i feel as though some other person out there deserves your praise. i can't accept it. not until i figure this shit out and what i need to do with myself.